yup, i think about it a lot. The whole “what am i here for” question… and in the end, after pondering for what seems like an eternity, i always come to the same conclusion… I DONT KNOW.. yep, thats it… thats all i can come up with.
hrmmm I kinda reckon that things happen for a reason, and in some way everything that happens was meant to happen and everything that is going to happen, will happen, no matter what you do. Your decisions are the things that determine the path you take, but your going to end up at the same place in the end… that one point where your meant to be… gawwwdddd
I wrote my first exam today, well draft exam anyway, Ive got a meeting on wednesday to show them my draft. Hopefully it will go well. Im not 100% sure yet how to allocate marks, but hopefully that will get sorted out on Wednesday.
anyway, back to the topic at hand. I feel like im not in the place im meant to, but what i am doing now (in most ways) relates directly to the big picture. The whole PHD thing is still up in the air for me. Its going no where, its boring, and my motivation just isnt there. Really there is no point me doing it. I know i am not going to be a hard core academic at any time, so really there is no point. Its 8 years… count em.. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8… yep 8 years of study, to get somthing that really i wont use. Id be better off doing somthing that is going to be useful later on. I guess i need to think about it, but the time will come where i have to make the decision…. Its been about 2 months already, and really i havnt done a great deal. Ive read and everything and discussed some stuff, but its like fighting an up hill battle, and it shouldnt be like that. hrmmm damn i hate that.
bleh – im working on a new website…. it should be pretty neat i think.
*yawn* – arrrrrrrr!!! dammit… im going to do somthing…
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